He felt quiet and sad and a little alone—scared—as often the nature of soul and heart state in the shadow and precipice significant life changings.
“Be yourself. But be your best self.”
You will never get close to the best version of yourself if you’re scared leaving the older versions behind.
He thought on the words. He thought on the message. Was he being his best self?
No.
Honesty has a humbling effect. He thought on his past, examined his present, then forward onto the man and self he knew that he should be.
Was he afraid of change?
No.
Was he afraid of leaving old selves?
Who wasn’t? Do we not all love elements of our histories—even when known to be dead, burden, no longer serving nor returning.
There is a romance in the lie of maybe—false hope we no longer believe but feed and sustain in romance of “maybe.”
The feeding and sustaining kills life in the present, hordes reserves from futures that remain as true and relevant possibility because it is the past we know. What is dead and ended are life’s only certainties (even belief and knowing of are delusions in themselves).
Who doesn’t like certainty?
But certainty is static, fixed—dead.
Life is mystery and allowance in openness to unknowns.
He was nervous and sad, still feeling alone, but at the precipice’s edge he saw faintest of light through surround of spirit-shadow—hope.
He desired the light. He desired to be as who he knew he should become. That mattered more than histories and comforts.
From precipice edge, in hope for the light, he moved. He made the Leap of Faith in sun of desire and Dream: future and present of which he was proud.