SAYING WRONG

                “Most everything I’ve ever spoken, I’ve said wrong,” he shared.  “Wrong words…wrong time…wrong understanding.  Learning shame from saying wrong, I’ve spent even more of life sharing nothing at all: keeping in, fearing rejection or misunderstanding—judgment for the wrongs I speak.

                I don’t know why that would suddenly change in me,” he continued.  “I’ll still get it wrong, but at least I’ll speak.  Maybe I’m wrong in time, wrong in context of the world, but right for different reasons…

                I lived a lot of life wondering if I mattered, if my life made a difference, and for most of these wonderings receive no answer at all.  A response in the negative is at least an acknowledgment of existence, but no answer—nothing—that is worse than the negation: testament to an existence that warrants nothing.

                Should someone that affects me ever wonder the same of their own life, I want to share an answer: ‘they do.’

                Wrong time, wrong place, wrong context, I accept these.  I’d still rather offer good—show another they are seen and matter, should they ever wonder whether they do—than hold silent when my thoughts might be the answer, sought, for their own silent questions.

                Maybe I shouldn’t say or share.  Maybe I should worry right and wrong before bothering to speak.  Maybe it’d be better in the contexts of appropriateness to not be the fool; let affections of spirit and hopeful fellowship alone—holding safe in a spiritual solitude.  But solitude is lonely to a soul—especially when one is witness to others who seem like-spirits.

                I am what I am and accept my flaws.  Maybe there is purpose to my imperfections, to wrong communications of affection.  We all need a purpose.  Maybe that is mine: to give little affirmations, recognize others, in a too often indifferent and silent Universe.  Maybe the message isn’t needed today, or tomorrow; but someday, should a spirit need, the affirmation is spoken and forever present by the act of its sharing and reception.

                I’ll still say things wrong. 

                Saying wrong hurts less than the silence when all a spirit seeks is to share and show a Good of itself and speak to Good witnessed in another.” 

1 comments on “SAYING WRONG

  1. Fear of judgment—labeling—is of epidemic proportions in this world/political climate today. But God knows my heart, and I pray to know (and show) His heart every day.

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