Maybe some day another will read, check-in and follow up. It will be sign of another’s interest, sign of another’s care: their value we exist.
If not, trouble not: our life is not their worry.
Neither is it ours. Our life is not our own; it’s for the purpose that we serve. GET OVER OURSELVES!
Make something of the gift!
Stop half-assing, toe-testing the waters.
Dive fucking in!
*****
I wrote those words in anger. I wrote them in frustration, self-loathing of one’s self at perceived failing, or knowing, to live the whole of one’s purpose and potential—to use the talents we are given for greater enrichment of the Giver.
I wrote them down, put them in world, then went about with life.
I made it through the day thinking, feeling, and caring little.
Workday ended, leaving farm, I checked my phone. There was a missed call from someone I haven’t seen in years, my little league baseball coach.
I have not seen or spoken, in voice, to him for years.
It was call and gift from out of blue.
We spoke. He invited me to something special, that meant something to us both. He spoke of an event to get some of us from the team back together—and to see other special people that influenced the person that I am.
Ending, he spoke of my writing, how they spoke to him in moments when received—like he needed them right then.
I pulled my car side, parked, felt the warmth of beginning tears as I listened.
All day, I’d been angry. All day, I’d been frustrated. I know he hadn’t read my words. I didn’t share them where he sees, but still his words found me.
Someone checking in. Someone following up. Sign of another’s interest, sign of another’s care, spoken value I exist.
He didn’t know how much I needed his words right then.
“Thank you coach,” I spoke. “That means a lot to me to know, and I really needed your words too. Thank you Coach.”
“Bring whoever you’d like,” he spoke of the event. “It will be something special.”
“I am excited to be there,” I answered.
God has his ways of sending signs, messages from Him by means of one another—more timely, more perfect, more powerful than we can ever imagine until we see.
“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”[i]
Sometimes writing is a form of prayer: when heart, soul, and spirit are made open. And in our openness—knock, call, and seeking—sometimes, God answers.
God answers in ways, message, and means we see and know are inspired and of Him: more perfect, timely, impactful—powerful—than we could have ever, before, believed.
Receiving, we believe and grow stronger in testament and faith.
Receiving, I speak testament, make use of a talent blessed to me by Giver.
Thank you Coach.
Thank you God.
[i] Luke 11: 9-10