God is calling me to be quiet. A week into Lent, I’ve given little up—but still I hear God call, discerning what He asks.
God is calling me to be quiet, to silent and separate from noise and distractions that take away from life and days.
I chase cheap dopamine rewards. I want recognized, read, and seen (or the deception that I am). I post, wanting to be read, assume if names and faces show on the underscroll of storyfeed, someone took the time to read.
Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s delude, but it is a fast and easy dopamine kick that keeps me sharing and checking—and time lost away.
I want connection. I want closeness, and that doesn’t come in offering to all, in acts that beg for attention and time.
It comes through those who offer free, who seek without ask, and the time to check on and respond. These standards, how much of social media is really personal at all? How much is only us—talking to ourselves—believing, and deceiving, that we speak to others?
In all the seek of cheap dopamine and shallow, or non-existent bond, what do we lose in those that are real?
I see my own children struggle with screens. I know I struggle same. What have I done to change?
I haven’t.
I read somewhere the other day of a recommendation and idea for those who dread resolutions and goals—“maybe just let your heart be open.” I think on that as I consider taking time away, but I think a greater part to an open heart is sincerity that is quiet, not loud and seeking affirmation in response and plea for recognition from another. How is one a better friend, if they are equal one—or none—to all? Friendship exists precisely because it’s personal.
In social media, a screen on every body—private, personal, and sincere—maybe that’s what we’re missing and seek most to find through mediums least likely to provide.
I don’t want to, but I believe I should—and that’s piece to obedience and following of God’s call. To trust the Greater Will and signs in sacrifice to our own wants, comforts, and self-deceptions.
I will do my best to answer. I doubt how well I’ll do, but doubt is normal. In Faith, I will proceed.
I want personal. I want friendship. I want connection—something more than scroll on screen to pass one’s own idle time and silence when perhaps we hide from greater depths.
I will still write. I will still share, but I will quiet my promotion and asking to be read.
If wanted, stories will still be there.
If wanted, so am I: byronmccoywriting@gmail.com—personal, not all to the masses. I want friends, not followers, and to be a better one myself: open-hearted in connections that are real.
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I wrote these words, then this showed up: first message in my email.
https://catholicmanhood.substack.com/p/movement-action
Amen.