Yesterday in the Catholic Church we celebrated the Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul when, on the road to Damascus, he encountered Jesus Christ in voice and vision of light, was blinded, brought again to see by the laying on of hands and faith; and forever after became an instrument of Christ.
For the mass, there are two options for fist reading, both from Acts. I read them both, and will speak to each in reflections and thoughts from Paul’s conversion:
Acts 22: 3-16
Paul addressed the people in these words: “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus in Cilicia, but brought up in this city. At the feet of Gamaliel I was educated strictly in our ancestral and was zealous for God, just as all of you are today. I persecuted this Way to death, binding both men and women and delivering them to prison. Even the high priest and the whole council of elders can testify on my behalf. For from them I even received letters to the brothers and set out for Damascus to bring back to Jerusalem in chains for punishment those there as well.’
“On that journey as I drew near to Damascus, about noon a great light from the sky suddenly shone around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ I replied, ‘Who are you, sir?’ And he said to me, ‘I am Jesus the Nazorean whom you are persecuting.’ My companions saw the light but did not hear the voice of the one who spoke to me. I asked, ‘What shall I do, sir?’ The Lord answered me, ‘Get up and go into Damascus, and there you will be told about everything appointed for you to do.’ Since I could see nothing because of the brightness of that light, I was led by hand by my companions and entered Damascus.”
“A certain Ananias, a devout observer of the law, and highly spoken of by all the Jews who lived there, came to me and stood there and said, ‘Saul, my brother, regain your sight.’ And at that very moment I regained my sight and saw him. Then he said, ‘The God of our ancestors designated you to know his will, to see the Righteous One, and to hear the sound of his voice; for you will be his witness before all to what you have seen and heard. Now, why delay? Get up and have yourself baptized and your sins washed away, calling upon his name.”
Acts 9: 1-22
Saul, still breathing murderous threats against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, that, if he should find any men or women who belonged to the Way, he might bring them back to Jerusalem in chains. On his journey, as he was nearing Damascus, a light from the sky suddenly flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” He said, “Who are you, sir?” The reply came, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do.” The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, for they had heard the voice but could see no one. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him to Damascus. For three days he was unable to see, and he neither ate nor drank.
There was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias, and the Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” He answered, “Here I am, Lord.” The Lord said to him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight and ask at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is there praying, and in a vision he has seen a man named Ananias, come in and lay his hands on him, that he may regain his sight.” But Ananias replied, “Lord, I have heard from many sources about this man, what evil things he has done to your holy ones in Jerusalem. And here he has authority from the chief priests to imprison all who call upon your name.” But the Lord said to him, “Go, for this man is a chosen instrument of mine and I will show him what he will have to suffer for my name.” So Ananias went and entered the house; laying his hands on him, he said, “Saul, my brother, the Lord has sent me, Jesus who appeared to you on the way by which you came, that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight. He got up and was baptized, and when he had eaten, he recovered his strength.
He stayed some days with the disciples in Damascus, and he began at once to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God. All who heard him were astounded and said, “Is not this the man who in Jerusalem ravaged those who call upon his name, and came here expressly to take them back in chains to the chief priests?” But Saul grew all the stronger and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus, proving that this is the Christ.
Now, what lessons and thoughts may we take from Paul’s conversion?
1. Often, even in our Love for God, our actions are wrongly applied. In the first reading, Paul speaks to his Jewish faith; but in his love of the Judaic laws and traditions, he takes to the persecution and decimation of those who find God—truly—another way: in Christ.
Paul was a man in love and faith and intended following of God, even when he erred; and while human and wrong in his direction and practice of what he believed as faith but was really only violence; God engaged, enlightened, and guided from his errant way back to the Way of truth.
Thought: Today, how often, in thinking of ourselves as standing up for the righteousness of God, are we really only harassing and persecuting? The God of the Old Testament often shows his omnipotence in power; but in the Way of Christ’s teaching, as he speaks first in his message on the Mount: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven…Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”[i]
Blinded, given sight, and too mission, Paul changed in practice of persecution to living of further Beautitudes in guidance of Christ’s conversion: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely, on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.”[ii] So Saul, name changed with giving of his mission, lived—in meekness, mercy, purity of heart, persecuted, and rejoicing to the very end when, at the hands of the Emperor Nero, he lived a fate much as those who, in the beginning, he returned to Jerusalem in chains.
2. Our witness and understanding of others’ conversions is incomplete. In both accounts, those present with Paul witness piece, but not all, to experience of Paul’s conversion. In one, they see the light but hear not Jesus’ voice. In the other, they hear the voice but witness not the light. Does it matter which is true?
No. What matters is that the fullness of message, experience, and transformative power of conversion was given to Paul—for Paul was God’s target.
So it is with ours and all’s conversions and moments of witness and engagement by Christ. It is a power and mystery of faith; and try as we might to evangelize by reference to the experience, like God-source—it is transcendent and beyond our ability to commune.
Thought: When others speak of their conversion, while we may never know or understand the meaning in moment and method to which they speak and seek to explain, accept we can never fully know the magnitude of another’s moment. Rather than judge, question, or doubt: be grateful Christ, God, engaged.
And if we have yet to experience or own moment of true conversion and after-following belief: be patient. God shapes our condition and our hearts for when we may be most fertile, and affected, by his Wonder.
3. Our futures are not our histories. We are all instruments. What were the reasons Jesus sought Paul for conversion? One of my favorite pieces to the second passage comes in Jesus’ speaking to Ananias, quelling rational caution and fear in regard to the reputation and known actions in persecuting Christ’s followers.
Jesus speaks, “Go, for this man is a chosen instrument of mine…”
By means of converting one of Christ’s most ardent persecutors, Christ is greater proclaimed. Paul is made instrument, not for the Church’s death, but for its greater root and establishment in all the ancient world. In experience of his encounter with Christ and his restoration of sight by the laying on of hands by Christian evangel, Paul—beyond spiritual conversion—becomes one of Christ’s greatest instruments for expansion of the faith; evangelizing, preaching, engaging, suffering humiliations, beatings, imprisonments, and—in final—execution; in testament and example to the conversion power and glory of God.
Paul was not his history. Paul is the man, by the grace and inspiration of God, he became in answer and fulfillment of his mission.
Thought: We are the same. Regardless of life story or condition, we are not fixed and defined, unable to change, in our histories. When given mission, calling—purpose—should we choose to answer as inspired, we all have the capacity to become instruments in the workings of God’s way.
4. The Way. In both readings, Paul writes and speaks of The Way. The Way was name given in early days to living of the Christian/Catholic faith. I believe it fitting still. Jesus is The Way. Salvation is not an end point, it is not a state defined by title or named—past—achievements.
The Way is never ending—in this life and the next. The Way is our own life pilgrimage, our journey, acts, and lessons along the way in following and living of faith.
Where do we encounter Christ? How does He appear? We meet him on The Way.
We do not need to know the path and reasons of our journey. To know is not faith. Faith is the continuance when we do not have the answers.
As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.”[iii]
Be open to Wonder. Be open to Christ’s mysteries. Be open to chance in encounter and experiences that—like Paul on road to Damascus—may reveal to us Christ’s Truth and impart in us the full conversion of our spirits.
Thought: This is The Way.
[i] Matthew 5: 3,5
[ii] Matthew 5: 7-11
[iii] 1 Corinthians 2: 9